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in your head

Grey sky and cold wind. The first two things I saw/felt when going out of the house this morning. Nature being itself and being indifferent. What a lovely feeling it must be. That marvelous indifference towards what was, what is and what’s coming. Could humans be like that, there would be no vices, no wars, no arguments. Just people being different and nobody caring about anything. Wouldn’t it be great? Well, more or less. I like sarcasm, I really do and I like a good laughter, too. Nature is sarcastic. You wish it were sunny and it is raining, you wish it were winter, but it is summer. You can’t do anything to stop nature from being nature. Okay, you could go visit some tropical location. But you also will have to come back home. And there are indeed very few people who can move from one location to another, without being restricted in any way.

Our lives start to suck at some point. I mean the lives of most of us. But they don’t really suck. They are just not what we had expected. But whose expectations are those? The ones of our parents, loved ones, friends maybe. Expectations are clichés. When my right is your wrong and someone else’s wrong is my right, we automatically have different perspectives on things and different expectations. We expect our children to behave. And we expect that someone reacts in some way, because we know how we would react in the same situation.

I have changed. Over the passed hours. I have changed my way of seeing things. And my way of reacting to things. You punch me in the face, I pretend I didn’t feel it. You do it again, I’m really stupid and I can’t see what you mean by that. You punch someone else in the face, I don’t fucking care. You don’t give a fuck about me, I don’t give a fuck about you anyway. You say you care about me, I’ll think twice if you are to be trusted. You prove to me that you care, well, you will need years to do it. Is this far fetched? Wait until you hear about me going on a long trip without giving a damn about what anybody has to object against it. Well, now the sun is shining. And it’s not only in my head. It’s shy, but shining.

I could as well go on and on and talk bullshit. It’s fun. One can write whatever goes through one’s mind and not care. Wonderful feeling. Just let go of all that’s been making you grumpy.  Oh, you say small things don’t matter, but they do! It’s the small things that eventually make the bomb go kaboom.

I now have to go packing. I’ll tell you later where I’ve decided to go. Nono, I’ll tell you now, so you don’t worry about guessing to much: there’s a place called in your head. And I have heard it’s fucking awesome to go visit that place. I’ll try to do it and I’ll tell you how it went.

In the meanwhile, here’s what I found:

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