The question is peculiar

makes me smile. now. and then.

I wake up in the morning and see a sun beam on the pillow. It’s playful. It reflects my passed night. Playful it was. In a weird sense. And full of dreams. It seemed as if I was waking up each hour only to dream about something else. A new life.  Some new experiences. My other self. Other people. Avortons. All of this was present in my head as I felt I was waking up. A mischmasch. It somehow felt like a past life experience. I was overwhelmed. The day began and it seemed to a be a normal day though. Cheery. Despite the song that did rewind in my head.

I don’t dream a lot. I don’t actually remember what my dreams are about. This dreams though, were interconnected. I don’t seem to remember them entirely. Only the feeling remained. Fantasies. And that feeling of not pertaining to the life I’m living. It does feel odd. I don’t want to believe it. I just want it to be over. I am willing to react as if there was nothing. But I can’t. I try hard. But it doesn’t work that way. I’m impulsive. I can’t control my thoughts anymore.

What happened to me? Did I once again get fooled by reality? No. I don’t think this is the issue. I think I want to escape. To get rid of myself and all the other selves. I think I had enough. But do I really want it?

Some of us are arrogant. Some of us are bad tempered. Some are indifferent. Some suffer even as the wind keeps blowing their way. So what? We are different.  It’s our nature. Don’t try to change it and don’t you dare try to suppress it. It won’t work.

Fuck you, life.

You are awesome indeed.

Some must just learn how to live/deal with it.

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