2012 revised

last Christmas 

last Christmas

Last Christmas

Last Christmas, Irma was growing up fast and enchanting us with her strong personality.

Last Christmas I didn’t want to care about anybody else than my family.

Last Christmas my father was not around anymore.

last spring


Hospitalized Irma

Last spring we had to take Irma to the hospital due to enterocolitis.

Last spring I realized how a mother feels when seeing her child with a perfusion.

Last spring I realized once again how much the medical system doesn’t care. (For her to be treated and hospitalized in a room that looks like this – see picture, we had to pay 50 Euro/day. Otherwise, I cite the nurse and doctor: “she will for sure go out with another virus or bacteria or the like”. It’s either you afford to pay for a single room and special treatment, or you stand no chance? No comment.).



Last spring I was bold bald headed.

Last spring we were in love.

last summer


Last summer we broke up.

Last summer, Irma became aware of the fact that she cannot do all the things she wants to do. Because she is still little.

Last summer we were as well sad as also happy.

last autumn

Last autumn we were fast.

Last autumn it was hard to get Irma out of the playground.

Last autumn we were playing.

this winter



This winter I felt sorry for homeless people. I still am…sort of.

This winter I have officially promised to post that video with this family of homeless people and their stray dogs.

I have really thought that I would do something good. Not because Christmas is coming, but because I am the kind of stupid person who thinks that all people deserve a chance, that nobody should land on the street and that there is place for all of us on Earth.

Then, the man called me on Friday. I had given them my phone number, so they could call me (they said they would find someone with a phone) in case they needed something.  And he was arrogant?! I almost had a shock. For a few seconds. I had filmed only his wife on Thursday, because he was not there. Once, someone told me, that homeless can ask you to give them money if you want to film or take pictures of them. I didn’t believe it back then, nor do I remember who it was who told me this. Anyway, this man called me, not because they were in trouble, or in need of money or food, but to tell me he needed to talk with me. And was inquiring to know when I would stop by, because he needed to discuss something with me?! This made me think twice. I had already bought them gloves and winter caps and food and was about to translate that video and upload it on the indiegogo updates page. Did he want more money from me? I didn’t go to see them these days. But I will on Monday and if they should ask me to give them money for this, I will change my target. The money shall go to people with cancer.

Do you think this is silly of me?

Some friend told me the other day, I would probably meet this kind of people and asked me if I would be able to get over it and move on with the project.

Dear friend, I would have been able to get over the “why should I work, if you provide me food and clothes and a place to stay?” part. But I am sure now, I am not able to get over the “give me money so you can film me” part. Never. But you know, I am not disappointed. I think it made me open my eyes and not be a dreamer anymore.

My campaign on indiegogo will not be in vain, but it shall not be meant for this kind of people. The outcome will be another one. Why? Because I realized that they don’t deserve it.

P.S. Half of this year my short hair was blond.